AUTISM In March!

Well sometimes I feel like Autism describes my life. Today it sure did. Zach had a horrible day on the bus and I had it out with the bus aide. I have never yelled at someone like that before. I really don't feel guilty about it. He was too rough and bent Zach's arm out of frustration and hurt him. THAT IS NOT OK! I guess he felt it was his duty in life to teach our son how to behave during a 20 minute bus trip. Unfortunately micromanaging Zachary's behavior doesn't work. Angry would describe me yesterday. So yet another call to the busing supervisor. Her and I are getting to know each other well this year. So after that "episode" as I will call it we had cub scout pack meeting last night. It just so happens that Matt was asked to talk about Autism. Matt found this poem and I wanted to share it. It was heart wrenching to read. Which I did last night. I could barely get through it. Matt warned me that it would be hard. But as I was feeling still wound up about the bus episode I thought I could. Not so much. It really had my emotions all over the place. Here it is:

The Misunderstood Child A poem about children with hidden disabilities by Kathy Winters
I am the child that looks healthy and fine. I was born with ten fingers and toes. But something is different, somewhere in my mind, And what it is, nobody knows. I am the child that struggles in school, Though they say that I'm perfectly smart. They tell me I'm lazy -can learn if I try- But I don't seem to know where to start. I am the child that won't wear the clothes Which hurt me or bother my feet. I dread sudden noises, can't handle most smells, And tastes -there are few foods I'll eat. I am the child that can't catch the ball And runs with an awkward gait. I am the one chosen last on the team And I cringe as I stand there and wait. I am the child with whom no one will play- The one that gets bullied and teased. I try to fit in and I want to be liked But nothing I do seems to please. I am the child that tantrums and freaks Over things that seem petty and trite. You'll never know how I panic inside, When I', lost in my anger and fright. I am the child that fidgets and squirms Though I'm told to sit still and be good. Do you think that I choose to be out of control? Don't you know that I would if I could? I am the child with the broken heart Though I act like I don't really care. Perhaps there's a reason God made me this way. Some message he sent me to share. For I am the child that needs to be loved and accepted and valued too. I am the child that is misunderstood. I am different-but look just like you.

What a powerful poem. As Autism awareness is coming up I hope that it helps people understand more about what these little ones are going through and have more love and compassion for them. I know my Zachary struggles and he is an amazing kid. I have the best 4 children! Ryanne, Max and Michael do not cease to amaze me with their compassion and love for their brother. They are truly each such a blessing from God.